Chapter 1: Now I am Dinosaur Puncher, forever.

It happened all at once, and just like that I was Dinosaur Puncher, Forever. Let me start at the beginning. My name is Jeremy Xavier Lightning-Bolt-Cocknballs.

I know!

Its quite possibly the coolest fucking name ever, ever!

You’ll never hear it again.

For the rest of my life, wherever I go, I am the Dinosaur Puncher. It’s fine.

It’s fine.

When I was a kid I enjoyed two things. weird disjointed sharp and pointy pieces of plastic, and sniffing glue. When I learned to read, I realized the instructions wanted me to glue the plastic pieces together.

I figured that out.

It is why I became a detective with the Human-Dino Barrier Patrol. Established early on when dinosaurs were first seen, it cuts diagonal from north to south pole, backwards across timezones.

Chapter 2: Slimy dinosaurs and a bottle of whiskey.

Jim left town on a GAhLogaLoga Thunder bike. like a bat out of hell. I was glad to help him fix that old bike. bless his heart, he loves old machines, just doesn’t know how to work on them. He bought me a bottle of Whiskey. That was nice.

“That’s Damn Fine Whiskey!” he shouted over the creaking of tight leather being stretched across a banana seat.

“Thanks again for the assist. Wait til Jeremy sees the new ride.”

Chapter 3: Forest Feces.

I walked out of the forest smelling of poop. Giant brontosaurus poop. Its not how I imagined I’d start my day. Its like that now.

“check the forest Puncher, its you’re fault they are here.”

“copy that Sergent, dilhole.”

“I’m sorry Puncher did you have something else or do you wanna wax the Police Infernals again?”

“Can’t hear you im on my way to the forest!”

That’s one way to look at it. Do you know whats really fun in life? Just doing your job and then a few hundred dinosaur scum are found squating in the forest. now they are My problem.

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